Riding the rails to Bangkok

I love riding trains. My interest probably began as a kid - when I would go to the local amusement park and ride snail paced loops around a small lake full of carp - but I think it truly took root on a couple dusty long haul trips I took as a Peace Corps volunteer in Tanzania. My friends and I would book an entire berth for ourselves and ride, for days at a time, the beat up Chinese trains down to Victoria Falls or up to Lake Victoria for holiday. After watching my first African sunrise from the "comfort" of a rickety dining car I was hooked. Since then, in every county I've visited, I've made an effort to get myself on a train for at least a small portion of my journey. But here's the thing, I ruined myself by unwittingly picking such spectacular trips so early on in my train riding career. After East Africa and an extended trip (with lots of rail time) across northern India, I've found that nothing else quite compares. Be that as it may, I keep looking for train schedules and rail stations whenever I travel, always hoping that I'll stumble into another one of those magical trips.

The Chiang Mai to Bangkok run wasn't bad but it certainly wasn't magical. Hoping to see some of the countyside as I zipped across half of Thailand, I decided to forgo the overnight train that I might have otherwise taken and ended up on an "express" train - twelve hours to Bangkok, 8:45am to 8:30pm. The train itself was just.....bland. Only three cars long, it looked more like a subway than anything - no real engine, no caboose, hermetically sealed cars, and a less than friendly staff. Half the fun of train travel is watching (or better yet, participating in) the railside commotion that erupts at each stop as vendors storm the train selling food, drinks, and other necessities. Sadly, none of that on this trip. We did stop at a half dozen stations throughout the day but were sternly forbidden to leave the train for fear of throwing off the scheduled timetable, and besides, the stations seemed to be mostly deserted. Anyway, even if there were vendors clammoring for our business, our windows were sealed shut to keep the conditioned air from escaping. Very businesslike, very efficient, very boring.

That's not say there wasn't some excitement. I'm not sure whether it was due to having a very short train (like I said, only three cars) or being in the last car, or both, but every time the engineer found a straightaway and hit what seemed to be our top speed, the train would bounce, buck, and sway like mad - and watching the crew attempt to carry on (pouring drinks, sweeping the aisles, etc.) in this earthquake as if all were normal was a riot. Going to the bathroom became an adventure to avoid, especially if you valued your dignity and after a while I had pretty much resigned myself to an inevitable, and horrible, death by derailment.

In the end, however, after passing through some beautiful scenery (especially the mountains due south of Chiang Mai), watching the sun set over the rice paddied horizon, and creeping through the bloated sprawl surrounding Bangkok, we arrive precisely on time. I'll admit, I took a bit of sick pleasure in watching the anxious travelers who were - after dark and maybe for the first time - arriving in big bad Bangkok as they frantically flipped through guidebooks......knowing full well that Mom and Dad had come down to meet me at Hualampong Station. After a quick subway and skytrain ride, I'd be "home" and in my own bed for the first time in three months. Perfect.