Sihanoukville...bringing out Evan's inner prude

Ok, so Sihanoukville isn't exactly the Cambodian version of Pattaya (the nauseating sun and sex capital of Thailand). Much to my pleasant surprise, it's not even close....yet. But given a little time and better advertising among the international creepy, balding, overweight and lacking in human decency set and Sihanoukville will get there. Today, however, it's a pretty low key port town blessed with a few strips of white sand and a decent road to Phnom Penh. The couple of beaches that haven't been completely privatized by luxury resorts are edged, from one end to the other, with palm-thatched bungalow guest houses, restaurants, and bars. In short.....Evan's version of hell on earth. I won't go on and on bitching and moaning about the Asian beach scene - to each their own, I suppose - but, for the life of me, I just don't see the pleasure in getting loaded on "Mekong buckets" and whatever the cheap and easy drug of the week might be while simultaneously offending locals and fellow travelers alike with gross displays of overweight, hairy, sunburned bodies (Russian men and British women seem to be the worst offenders). The icing on the cake, of course, is the unabashed "relationships for hire" between the losers mentioned above and the local Cambodian women. Who would have thunk it, Sihanoukville has apparently brought out the puritan in me.

I do have to mention that it all makes for an entertaining sunrise stroll on the beach. Sort of like an atomic bomb went of in a neighborhood of neo-hippy communes, sports bars, and cheap brothels. After making sure to kick a little sand on an afro'ed burnout who was passed out in the surf, I shared a little chuckle with the couple of Cambodian kids who was busy sifting cigarette butts, beer bottles, and scraps of roman candles from the beach.

So given all of joys of Sihanoukville, why did I even bother stopping by? For the same reason we can't help staring at car wrecks, I guess. That, and that it made a convenient stop on the road back to Phnom Penh. And Sihanoukville isn't all that bad....the locals are pretty friendly, the weather is spectacular, and I may even head down to the beach for a swim in the Gulf of Siam. I won't be seeing the ocean again for a while so maybe I'll frolic in the waves. And, most importantly, now that I've been here, I'll never lay awake at night thinking "man, I wonder what that Sihanoukville, Cambodia is like?"

Before signing off from S-Ville, I've got to mention one of the most amazing examples of niche-market exploitation I've come across in my travels. There's a transportation company in this part of the country called "G'Day Mate Outback Tours."Ok, whether or not an Australian had or has anything to do with the company is beside the point - other than I would love to believe that a Cambodian actually came up with the idea. Anyway, G'Day Mate provides minibus transport between certain cities with, and I quote, "NO Crazy Overtaking, NO Loud Khmer Music, NO Constant Beeping of Horns, and NO Seat Sharing - You are GUARANTEED 1 Whole Seat per Person!" I love it.....they've won my business.